Passing of Time

I am more acutely aware of the passing of time now than I have ever been in my life. I am jealous of every moment I spend doing things I feel are unnecessary or pointless. I am home today and enjoying the freedom of every moment to be claimed by what I want to do; not by what I have to do. I took the day off for a dental appointment. My dentist has still not recovered from his shoulder surgery, so I postponed that until he is back in the office. His young replacement and I did not “hit it off” when we met. If necessary, I will change dentists. But for now the dentist is not a part of my time spent this beautiful October day. I may go get my driver’s license renewed. I may go back to bed. I hope to retire at the end of this school year. I am a teacher and I love my job. I do not love the many meetings I am required to attend. I do not like all the shiny new ways to do things that emerge every few years and and require more meetings and days to be trained and confusion while first implementing the new wonderful idea that I am sure will be replaced at the time it feels most comfortable to use by another new shiny idea. Change is not always good. Teachers should be allowed to explore options and ideas and formulate their own special way of teaching, or that’s my opinion. I love to write. I will probably switch careers from teacher to writer when I quit this job. I already have published a few things. I have books partially written. The time I spend writing feels like good time and I can go at my own pace and do things my way. My old dog is delighted to realize I am not leaving for work this morning. She watches me every day and can tell by my morning routines if I’m staying home or going out. Time means more to me than money now. It’s possible that it always has.

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