Tired of Being Sick

I have been sick since last Friday night/Saturday morning. I stayed in the same pair of pajamas for two days – the whole weekend. On Sunday night I took a shower to get ready for work on Monday. Monday morning came and I was unable to go. But I felt better . . . still sick, but better! Tuesday morning, unsure if I was really well or not, I went on to work. Wednesday morning I was sicker again and went to the doctor. I got antibiotics, a note for being out Wednesday and went back Thursday. Thursday was a very rough day. The building I work in is cold and the room I spent Thursday morning in was 64 degrees according to the thermostat on the wall. I’m sure that added stress to my already stressed out body. When I got home, I went to bed. This morning I tried to get up and go to work. I was having trouble breathing again and my throat hurt very badly and I just couldn’t make it. I just posted on facebook that I wish I’d get well or just go ahead and die. I am NOT suicidal. I’m just tired of being sick. I would make a terrible cancer patient. I have not let them screen me for cancer because I would not go through the treatments. I hate feeling bad and not being able to do things. I’ve had two antibiotics and although the doctor said these were stronger than the last ones he prescribed, I felt better taking the last ones. Maybe I wasn’t this sick last time? I don’t know. I just know I’m going back to bed and while I may be proud of every wrinkle, I am not proud of how this old body handles being sick.

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