At The End

At the end of your life . . . or during what you know are the final years . . . you look back at all the things you’ve done and what, if anything, you’ve accomplished.

It takes a lifetime to see what I am seeing today.

It is said that in America, anyone can succeed. You can become anything you want to be. That is true to some extent.

It is much harder if you’re alone with no family and no support.

Sometimes you have to try to improve your life with people around who are trying, for some reason?, to hold you back. I’ve never understood mean people. I don’t know why we don’t cheer and encourage each other. Do people think that my success will prevent theirs, or do they just not want to see me succeed?

It’s felt like an uphill battle for most of my life.

I’m not prepared to share here what life as a child was like for me, but I will say that the best thing about Christmas was that there was food in the house. That’s a hint for you.

I paid my whole way through college with no money from home. In fact, my mother discouraged me when I said I was going. By then I’d been out of high school four years and I had what she considered a “good job”.

I applied to college, and I applied for financial aid, and when I was accepted, and the money part came through, off I went.

There again, life was not as easy for me as it was for some others in the dorm. I was on the work/study plan and I worked 15 hours a week as well as going to class 14 hours a week.

Perhaps it’s the bad thunderstorm outside, but something has put me in a depressed frame of mind, and looking back on my life, it’s a miracle I accomplished anything.

If I feel inclined, I’ll write again about some of the problems I’ve seen and had in my life. I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed to live this long.

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