Motherhood

Motherhood has not turned out to be the wonderful experience I expected. I wonder how everyone else is enjoying their role as “Mother”?

I sacrificed so much for my three children. I don’t know if they don’t realize what I went through and what I did to help them, or if they are just callous people who don’t really give a damn?

If you want to come see me, so you say, and I say I will be home every day except Tuesday or Thursday, why would you choose Tuesday to come by?

If you come into my house, why would you ask if you could have this, that or the other because a friend you are staying with, who doesn’t like me (and the feeling is mutual) might want it? No. You cannot have it, and she can buy it for herself, if she wants one.

Why do adult children pop in and pop out so quickly? Why do they even bother to come by, especially at times you’ve said you won’t be home?

Am I the only mother who feels used by her children?

I was delighted when I found out I was pregnant . . . all three times. I see posts on facebook by other mothers of young children who seem so happy to be mothers. Does the feeling wear off? I’ve always been happy to have children. It was what I wanted most in life.

I am a little under the weather and feeling bad, sad and unhappy and just plain sick. That may be why I’m wondering if I died, would my kids come by, even though I’m no longer here, and take the things they want now, but that I refuse to give them?

Would the one in Asia waste money on a plane ticket home? What’s there to come home to, once I’m gone, but my things?

I’m a senior citizen now, but I’m still trying new things. I have a youtube channel. I don’t think they watch my  videos, but they do tell me I should make one a week. I told my oldest today that several people have asked me to make a video of my cat playing the piano. He just said, “Really?” like he didn’t believe me.

I used to be able to do no wrong in their eyes. Now I can do no right. Or it’s only if I do the things they want me to do that it’s “right”. One wants me to take the old car he lent me a couple years ago (I finally got myself another car last September) to be inspected. Oh, and the taxes on it are due . . . Why is that my problem? I’ve had my own car for almost six months. Why is what his old car now needs my responsibility? I told him the freeze plug was leaking again. I don’t want to drive it in that condition to have it inspected. He doubts the freeze plug ever was leaking and thinks the mechanic ripped me off the two times I’ve had it repaired in the past few years. I don’t. I’ve had a leaking freeze plug with a car before, and I saw his car leak and then not leak after it was fixed. The change in weather seems to cause problems with the coolant leaking.

It’s an old car – 1995 Ford Escort Station Wagon. I wish he’d sell it. I was glad to get it, although I had to pay $1200 for the repair that got it driveable from halfway across the state. I’ve spent a lot of money on it keeping it running while I had it.

How much is too much to do when your children are grown? I know other mothers who still buy furniture and appliances to help their adult children.

How do other mothers feel about their adult children? If you are a mother of adult children, how about leaving a reply? I seriously want to know if anyone else feels like I do?

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One thought on “Motherhood

  1. I’m not a mother of adult children but I am a mother and I did want to say this. I hope in time your kids realize how much they mean to you and that now in their adult stage show the same appreciation they did when they were kids because you won’t be here forever and they won’t want to waste the time that they have now to spend all the time that they can with you.

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