Mothers

Mothers are depicted on TV as bothersome creatures whose mere existence torments their adult children.

Mothers are viewed as doddering old creatures out of touch with the reality of today’s society and having little use, except to be a nuisance.

One thing about mothers . . . once you’ve become an adult, your mother has lived long enough to study and be hurt by and to see dangers and delights in society that you haven’t discovered yet. They can save you some pain and trouble, and that’s what many mothers are tryinig to do.

If your mother says you work too long and too hard, chances are you do. Hard work and long hours are often regretted in subsequent years.

If your mother says you’re not eating right or not taking care of your health, teeth, body . . . you probably are guilty of those things as well.

Perhaps adult children resent their mothers because they realize there are still some things they don’t know. Or perhaps their mother’s views contradict the current beliefs of their peers and society?

Whatever the reason you may choose to shun your mother, remember this . . . IF your mother was supportive of you and cheered you on, if she tried (even though at times may have failed) to help you as you grew up . . . she still has your best interests at heart and only wants the best for you.

Calculate how many days? hours? minutes? you give to your mother each year . . . she’s keeping up with it. She may never say a word about feeling neglected, but her heart acknowledges it and she will become more reluctant to say or do anything for fear of causing you to spend less time with her.

If you love your mother, however distasteful the thought of spending time with her, you might want to do it anyway. “Time waits for no man”  (first appeared about 1395 in Chaucer’s Prologue to the Clerk’s Tale). It won’t wait until it’s a convenient time to spend time with your mother. If you’re waiting for her to change, chances are that’s not going to happen either. Take her or leave her while you can. I just hope you don’t regret your choice later.

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Observations

Older people do not get the respect in America that they get in other countries. They are the subject of jokes and many of their viewpoints are scoffed at.

Younger people do not understand the power of experience. They do as they get it for themselves and they learn, as we all did, what to avoid and what might be a good idea.

Just as when I hear a siren, I know an emergency vehicle is close by, I also can predict what will happen in certain situations because I’ve lived through them. No one wants to listen, so I frequently don’t share the warning I hear in my mind when I see approaching problems or when I even know the solutions. I’ve had too many comments about my age and my lack of understanding. However those who scoffed have come back and asked later how did I know that would happen? Experience. I’ve had it happen to me before, or I’ve seen it happen.

Now that I am not working outside my home, I have more time to observe things. I have many observations and some of them are funny while others are tragic. I’m still learning and hope I learn new things until the day I die. (I guess I will learn something new that day as well.)

When Americans slow down and value the older generation like some other countries do, perhaps people will quit speeding through their lives and learn some tricks and tips to help them.

Meanwhile I’ll just keep watching what I know is going to happen, and wish someone would have asked my opinion (or listened) before they did that.

“Experience is the best teacher” is a quote I’ve often heard. Here are some other quotes about experience:

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_experience.html

 

 

 

 

Message to the Younger Generation

Older folks are viewed as “wise” for a reason. We’ve lived through many situations and had various experiences. We’ve seen what happens in certain situations.

When someone comes to us for advice, we are usually happy to try to help. However, the demeanor and attitude of some young people is a real “put off”.

Whether they realize it or not, some younger people come to us full of anger and rage about a certain situation. It’s often one with a quickly solvable solution, but because of how the whole thing is presented to us, we may shut down and not help.

Why is this? Is it just because we want to be mean? No. At least not in my case. In my case, I have a physical condition and stress and anger, whomever it’s directed towards, causes me physical pain. This condition can get so painful that I have a prescription for pain medicine.

When someone comes to me in a rage, or so angry they seem in a rage, about something that’s gone wrong in their life, it causes my pain to flare up and I cannot think as straight, and I lose any interest in trying to help them because now I have to stop and help myself.

So a message to all the younger people who might seek help from the older generation is this: Approach us with a pleasant demeanor and present your problem in a logical, non-angry mode, because otherwise, you might just be wasting your time.

My Son, Conrad

So my son has come for a visit and now he’s left. What happened to the little boy who thought I hung the moon?

The employment situation is not good right now. He has a job, but it’s not what he spent all those years in college learning how to do. We try to talk about his future, and he lets me know my ideas are not at the top of his list of things to try.

I’ve lived a long time. I’ve done lots of different jobs. It’s usually not what you know, but who you know. Taking a job as a Physics teacher in a private school in a town with an aerospace company seems a good step for an aerospace engineer who ultimately wants to work in his engineering field. No, he says, if he teaches, it will be in a northern state with a union.

The goal is not to teach, it’s to make connections. But what do I know? I’ve only survived for several decades. I give up. Young people today don’t want advice. They want quick fixes. All this damned technology has made them think nothing should take any time and that there should be one click and you’re done.

I give up.