When Your Adult Children Don’t “Get” Your Jokes Anymore

I am reaching the age now when I should be careful how I joke. I’ve always been told I have a great sense of humor and I know I have a dry wit. I’ve made jokes with my kids all their lives. Suddenly every joke I make is met with a look like they don’t realize it’s a JOKE, and they wonder if I know what I’m saying.

It started several years ago when I had a good job, but quit it to go to grad school. I had my children in my thirties so you do the math . . . about how old I was . . . when two of them came home from college for Christmas and I announced at the end of the school year (I was teaching) . . . in late May or early June, I was quitting my job, moving to the beach and going to grad school. Oh, the look that passed between those two college kids of mine was priceless. It got even worse when I said their baby brother was happy about it. . . yeah? Their baby brother was fifteen years old! What did he know? And there went that look again.

Well, I did quit my job, moved and had two of the best years of my life going to grad school full time and living at the beach. My baby boy and I both graduated the same year. Him from high school and me from UNCW. I didn’t think to notify the newspaper, but a few years later, I saw a story about a mother and son who had done basically the same thing – one graduated from high school while the other got a college degree the same year.

Tonight my oldest came by for a surprise visit. I didn’t even know she was in the area until I took the dog out and there was her car! Oh, what a nice surprise! We went out to dinner and as we left the restaurant and she began complaining about having to go to work tomorrow . . . I said for her to call her boss and tell him she’d come to see me and I was sick and she had to stay a day or two! She looked at me and said she’d need a doctor’s note. Well, I suggested Dr. Mike would be glad to write one. Oh, no . . . there went that look again. Dr. Mike is our vet. She told me that. With that look in her eyes, she said, “Mom, Dr. Mike is a veterinarian”. Yeah, I know that.

At a certain age, I guess the joking has to stop, but I don’t think I can quit kidding around with my adult children. I enjoy their company and when they’re around, I’m almost giddy.

My baby boy lives in China now. We skype from time to time. When I tell him about how his brothers are worried about my mental capacities, he said they’re worried about Alzheimers. Yeah? Well, that will bother them more than it bothers me. (I’ve helped care for an Alzheimers patient. She seemed far less concerned about her condition than her family was.) My youngest laughed when I told him that. Well, that time I wasn’t kidding.

I guess as long as I know they think I’ve lost my mind, it’s safe to say I haven’t.


Does It Matter?

I have been agitated by politics for a long, long time. I’m tired of the name calling and the suggestions that the election can be undone and how to keep President Trump from succeeding as a President.

I imagine myself in a store with threats of severe weather and wonder if I have time to get home before it hits?

I’ve never seen the world like it is today. People have gotten nasty with each other. They tweet and message and write all sorts of online things as if they are talking only to the machine they’re using. They don’t envision all the people out there who may read what they wrote.

I mentioned to my son last week that I wish I knew how much time I have left on this earth. There are things I still want to accomplish, but in order to prioritze them, I need to know how much time I have left.

I cannot continue to read things people post in the heat of the moment.

I just read one post on facebook that basically said if your opinion isn’t just like mine, it doesn’t deserve respect. Well, yes it does. If only to respect it enough to validate that’s what someone else thinks, and how I’d like to talk with them and see if I could get them to see the fallacies in their beliefs. And how I could listen to them to see any fallacies in mine.

I listened to a video on facebook last night. The woman has a very pleasant voice, and her message is worthwhile. I’m going to post that link on this blog post.

Time . . . I’m old and I don’t know how much I have left, but rather than wring my hands and look to see if the sky has fallen yet, I’m going to eschew political laments and try to do some kind of good before I leave. I’ve always tried to do good. I have not always succeeded, but I was trying to help the earth and my fellow man. (no, I’m not a man; I’m a woman . . . but it’s that kind of unimportant comments that will cause diversion from what I’m trying to say.) I cannot continue to allow my mind to be cluttered with other’s ignorance and rantings.

It is what it is. My time may be shorter than I think – or it may be longer. Whichever, I have a list of things I want to accomplish. Don’t post rantings or complaints, or anything else that will serve no purpose, but to try to upset me. I won’t be reading or thinking about them. Most are reworded expressions that I’ve read over and over for months.

Here’s the video that I listened to last night that still is affecting me this morning.

How Much Have You Given?

I dare anyone who is my age to stop and think about how much you have given.

Let it sink in.

Maybe you’re not like me and you haven’t given until you can’t give any more but still you found something else to give?

Did I mention I regret my generosity? Do you?

We have Code Orange Air Quality here today because of the NC wildfires that are raging many counties away.

I have two lung conditions. On a good day I’ve been told not to be without a rescue inhaler within arm’s length. That doctor actually prescribed five inhalers at once and said to put one in every room in my house. Keep one always within an arm’s length.

I laid down to take a nap day before yesterday. I didn’t use my CPAP machine (maybe I have 3 breathing issues?) because I was just taking a nap. I woke up not breathing and thought I was not going to be able to start myself back breathing. It is a terrifying experience and not the first time that it’s happened.

Yesterday I went in and out in the code orange air when my two dogs needed to go out. For some reason they have decided they are mortal enemies and I have to take them out separately, which means it takes twice as long.

I have three adult sons. Two are in the same state that I live in. One came by to borrow my car for a trip. Did he/she (now he’s decided he’s transgender), notice how hard it was for me to breathe? S/he did notice the house was warm. I’d been having chills all day. I had felt sick all day. I’d had touble breathing all day. S/he was preoccuppied with a problem at work, took my car and left.

I sent a message to my other son who lives in this state. He’s probably a couple hours away. I said I was having a very hard time taking my two dogs out. I mentioned the Code Orange air. I asked if he could come spend the weekend with me and help out. My sons know I don’t ask for help, unless I really need it. I prefer to do things myself.

I haven’t heard from that son. I know he saw the message because I got a message stating “Message seen at ___  o’clock”.

I wonder if those sons (daughter?) of mine have ever stopped to think how much I did for them? I bought things I couldn’t afford. I went places and did things when I had no energy. I sacrificed and spent my time trying to help them have better lives.

Now all I’m asking is help breathing during this weekend. Is that really too much?

Ok. I’ve given more than I should. I made a fool of myself over my kids. I never gave up.

I’ve even gotten an email from a friend asking how I’m feeling because her dad is having some problems breathing with this air. I told her exactly how I was feeling. No reply email. No phone call.

If I have to be cheerful and pleasant with no problems, but lots to GIVE to have a family and friends, guess what.

I’m DONE giving. Don’t even waste your breath asking. I’m DONE. I can live without family and friends. I can’t live without breathing. I guess I don’t matter that much to any of them. Not really.