Getting Older

My son lives in Asia. He has told me several times to come live over there. He says I can get an apartment for $300 to $500 a month. He says restaurant meals can be had – good meals – from $2 to $5. The cost of living is lower, he says.

I kidded him that if I really showed up, he would change his mind and then I’d be in a mess!

No! He insists. Over there adult children are not allowed to change their minds about caring for their parents. They will be “shamed”. Even as a non-Asian, he would not want to suffer the consequences of being shamed.

How different it is from over here.

During this year so far, I have witnessed a senior citizen die at Bingo. When the paramedics arrived, they did not rush to her as I have always seen done before .They stood across the room looking at her and asking questions about what medicines she was taking and what conditions she had. No one checked for a blood pressure. No one listened for a heart beat. They actled like if she wasn’t dead, it was fine for her to die while they waited.

Then there’s been another person I know whose father decided to refuse all care and be put into “hospice care”. He was gone within 72 hours. Would they have allowed a younger person to make that decision?

Even I, when I was in the hospital last year, was given a “Do Not Resuscitate” Order and asked to sign it. What? I refused. They came back with it three different times. I had to tear it up in front of them before they understood the word “NO”. My son came to see me daily. I said if it came to that decision . . . if I could not tell them not to resuscitate me when all hope was gone . . . to ask him. They said they’d need a consensus from all three of my children. Well, then, pick up the phone and call the other two. For all I knew, one of them might even show up. (How fast did that hospital want to be done with me?)

I have learned from my many years of living, a great deal about this world.  Just because I don’t get up and go to work every day doesn’t mean I have lost all value. Just because my hair has more silver now than brown doesn’t mean I have nothing to offer. I can actually watch events unfold and tell you what’s going to happen before it’s happened, because I have seen it before. I have wisdom I never had before. I have clearer vision in some ways than ever before.

But I am a senior citizen and as such, am not appreciated by the younger generations in America.

I now understand why so many folks dye their hair and get face lifts and are not proud of every wrinkle, as I am. I suppose I grew up valuing every person for who they were without judging their physical appearance. I don’t think it’s that way for most.

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Corbett Picture

Wrinkles are only Skin Deep

Why is it that when I see an older man on TV, his wrinkles are attractive? Yet they keep most women on TV or in the movies wrinkle free. These men have wrinkles deeper than mine ever dare to be, but no one seems to think they look bad.

I was considering dying my hair blonde again. My youngest son said it would probably make my wrinkles more noticeable. Huh?

I just put my Christmas photo from 3 years ago as my profile picture on facebook. For some reason wrinkles don’t show up in most of my photos and I’m not sure I can compare then with now.

The hairdresser said NOT to color my hair as she worked on my graying locks yesterday. I didn’t ask her why not. She indicated the gray looked good . . .

I’m going to post my picture as a blonde here. This one is from Christmas 2012.

Christmas 2012

Appearances/Impressions/Age

We older people shouldn’t make being older look so bad. Things we say and do scare the hell out of younger folks, and then they cling so desperately to their youth.

Our minds are still sharp, and I bet some of us have no more aches and pains than we did when we were younger. I can remember complaining of pain when I was young and being told I was too young to really be hurting that bad. What kind of comment is that? Are we only allowed to be in pain when we are old?

I can remember stressing out and worrying and trying to be sure . . . and now I’ve learned to relax. It all works out. “No Worries” applies more to the older than the younger ones.

I heard an actress say on a TV episode of Code Black that “Being old is like swirling around in a toilet bowl”. No, it isn’t. Being old is waking up when you wake up and not being jarred awake daily by an alarm clock. Being old means lying down to rest when you are tired. Being old means more time for yourself, unless you get talked into free babysitting while your offspring work. Being old means I’ve had my first wrinkle and I survived. Being old means being able to say “No” with no real reason, except I don’t feel like doing something today. Being old is probably the most freedom you’ll ever have once you leave your childhood. There’s a reason it’s been referred to as a “second childhood”. I see in researching this term that the term refers to ” senile dementia“. There is nothing wrong with my mind. I just have the freedom of a child now. I eat when I want to and I sleep when I want to. It may be better than being a child because I do have control of my life and my time.

I’m not “swirling around in a toilet bowl” and don’t feel that way. I am enjoying every day more than I ever have. I have less stress than ever, and I find that my money lasts longer than it did when I was working. I don’t fill the car up with gas as often. I only eat out, if I don’t feel like cooking. I don’t have to dress up every day. I don’t have to rush.

Being old may be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Do not fear aging. It’s nothing to fear.

Doctor’s Visit

I went to see the doctor today and I didn’t wear any makeup. I seldom do when I’m sick and going to the doctor. I read somewhere that they need to see your true color. I also don’t feel like putting on makeup when I’m sick.

I don’t wear much makeup anyway. I see other women with eye shadow and wonder how I’d look if I used it? I consider trying it. Then I worry that I’d like it, and then I’d have THAT to do every day.

Actually, unless I go out, I don’t wear any makeup. The dog doesn’t mind when I walk her if my lipstick is on. I do use lotion on my face daily. I know I say I’m proud of every wrinkle and I am, but there’s no need in seeing how deep they can get. I find if I put lotion on my face morning and night – different lotions, different times of day – my wrinkles are still there, but not as deep as they may get.

I use expensive lotions on my face. Well, expensive for me. I’m a low maintenance kind of woman. I have my hair cut in layers so I can wash, scrunch and go . . . I have some natural curl and while I hated the curl when younger, now I embrace it.

I buy cheap lipsticks and mascara. What else? Foundation and compact powder and I’m done.

Too much in life to spend a lot of time getting ready for it.

The doctor didn’t seem to care that I wasn’t wearing makeup. She seemed to think I was sick. She gave me some medicine for it, and I think I am beginning to feel better.

Losing Weight

They say fat is a great wrinkle filler. I seem to be losing some of mine.

I’ve lost about eleven pounds since I moved here two years ago. I have started losing a little again.

It may just be water weight. Who knows?

I’m not working right now, so a lot of the stress I normally feel is absent.

I was also very sick twice last year. I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but it did add to the stress of trying to work and not being able to.

I am a conscientious person. If I’m expected to be somewhere or do something, it bothers me when I’m not there.

My clothes are fitting better and I’m going through them to determine what, if anything, I want to try to wear now? Most of them were bought when I was eleven (or more) pounds heavier.

This break has shown me that if nothing else, retirement time is nearing. I just have to figure out how to support myself without a full-time job. I have no plans to invest in wrinkle cream. I did see some today in my bedroom that I bought when I was trying to sell Avon. It may be just a sample. I cannot read the writing on it as the print is too small. Why is that? Why do they sell something to people whose eyesight they know is getting worse and then put the directions for using it in such small letters that you can’t read it? 

This weight losing is fun.

This Is About Me

Christmas 2012

 

I’ve been called a “senior citizen”, although there are others who are older. I’ve noticed changes to my body, my face, my thoughts, but instead of hating them, I am usually amused and in wonder at what the human body can do.
I see movie stars getting facelifts and many look like a startling caricature of their former selves. I am not interested in having a facelift.
I’ve colored my hair for awhile and now look like a blonde floozie. I decided to let my natural color grow back and embrace it.
If I’m loving my own hair color, I think I should love my own, current face. I am going to be proud of every wrinkle. I know where they came from. I’ve lived a long time.
I remember hearing the phrase “age gracefully” and I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that at all times, but I am going to age. Why women want to look so much younger than they are eludes me. I am proud to have lived this long. I do not want to pretend to be what I am not.
So I am proud of every wrinkle and going to blog about this time in my life. Older? yes. Wiser? We’ll see.